This post is a little bit different. There’s a lot of information online about the technical aspects of blogging: how to build links, how to do SEO, and stuff like that. And there’s tons written about lifestyle design and blogging, and how you can create a business that you can run from anywhere in the world.
But what about designing a–for lack of a better word–normal lifestyle through blogging? For example, how is it possible to blog full time and do everything that needs to get done and still have meaningful relationships?
In answer to that is this guest post… by my girlfriend.
Below is an email conversation we had on Sunday night.
A = Amy (her), and T = Tristan (me).
A: I’m really bored. Everyone in my house is asleep [she’s home for the holidays]. I should do productive things.
T: I’m sorry you’re bored. You should… write blog posts for me [I was tired and sick of writing].
A: Unless you want your blog to fail horribly, I probably shouldn’t write a post for you. Although it might be kind of funny to have a guest post, “The Life of a Blogger’s Girlfriend: An Inside Look and Tips for Significant Others.”
T: I actually think that a “Life of a Blogger’s Girlfriend” post would be awesome! You should start writing down ideas for it and see if you’ve got enough to make a post from.
A: I’ll see what I can do. Also, how many words would we be talking about here?
T: Doesn’t really matter. I’d say the more you write, the better, though. And you could talk about what I was like (and what our relationship was like) before and after the birth of Blog. You could write about things I could do better, and also have advice for girlfriends/wives of bloggers.
A: Hahaha. I’m laughing out loud. This is funny.
T: No. This is serious.
So that’s how the idea for this post came around. Half an hour later, I checked my email and saw that she had written the following 800 word article.
I hope you enjoy this post, and I hope you’ll leave a comment. I’d love to hear how your blogging is affecting (or not) your relationships!
[One more thing; Amy’s got an in, but I’m still not accepting guest posts here on Blogging Bookshelf.]
The Life of a Full Time Blogger’s Girlfriend, and Tips for Significant Others
by Amy
Good news! I’m the proud daddy of a bouncing baby blog. No, you read it right. I couldn’t call myself the mother, because I had no part in the birthing process, but I was there for moral support along the way. You know, the mostly-annoying-but-also-endearing-in-its-own-way kind of support, where you can’t really offer any useful advice or input, but gosh darnit it you try.
Tristan and I used to have “debates” about who was a better blogger—my argument usually consisted of, “But I have drawings and pictures on my blog. Your blog is boring.” Of course he added infographics to his blog, just to render my already weak selling-point completely obsolete. I knew I didn’t stand a chance, anyway, since the only person who really reads my blog is my mom.
So, we don’t really have those “debates” anymore.
Being the girlfriend of a full time blogger does require sacrifice—but not anything that I’m bleeding from every pore about. I usually have no idea what he’s talking about when I venture past the cursory query of “How’s blog?” (It’s not “the” blog anymore. It has become a living entity, and thus no longer necessitates the use of a definite article.) This generally results in me feeling like an idiot. But I’m starting to pick up on some things, mainly to assure Tristan that I’m not actually learning disabled. And I’ve even dared a comment or two. Mostly I’m just happy that he has found something that he’s passionate about—not many people can say that they stay up working until 4:00 in the morning multiple times a week because they want to.
Tristan’s life is pretty much blog, much as a mother’s life is pretty much her children. (Not that I would really know, but that’s what I’ve heard….) He takes it seriously. He loves it. It stresses him out. He carries around a little notebook and can often been seen scrawling writing illegible to anyone but himself (believe me, I’ve tried). When he says that he works 10-14 hours a day on his blog, he means it. A common conversation in our relationship has become:
T: “I’m going to take you home now. I need to work on blog.”
A: “Ok. Maybe get some sleep tonight, though?”
I’d like to think of myself as a pretty low-maintenance girlfriend. I don’t demand to be entertained for hours and hours (mostly because that stopped being socially acceptable after the age of 6, I think), and I make a conscious effort to be considerate of Tristan’s busy schedule. I did get mad at him, once though, after a weekend of spending almost no time at all together due to the demands of Blog. I voiced my complaint; he apologized and said he would do better. And he has. I’ve stopped trying to set up little dates where he can work on his blog while I do something productive next to him, because both Tristan and I have realized that when I’m around, he has ADD. What can I say, I’m just too charming. [Insert pretentious laugh.]
Another fun routine we’ve gotten into is the one where I ask how much sleep he got last night, and then roll my eyes when he tells me that he went to bed (yet again) at 4am and somehow rolled out at 8:30. This, to me, is ridiculous and incomprehensible, because I need 7-8 hours of sleep so that the citizens of earth are safe from my fiery sleep-deprived wrath.
It would be one thing if he actually wasn’t tired–but when I see him with those bloodshot eyes, I can only think of two possibilities—either he’s developed a pot addiction, or he’s exhausted. And then when he falls asleep on my shoulder after sitting down for 5 minutes, I rule out the pot addiction. But he loves it (the blog, not the pot). He can’t get enough of it. And I think that’s one of the things I admire most—his drive to do more, be more, learn more, create more.
Sometimes I jokingly say that blog is Tristan’s real girlfriend (the jury is still out on that one, actually). But I’ve learned to not try and compete with Blog–I wouldn’t try and lure my boyfriend away from his 9-5 bank job, so why would I try and do it with Tristan and Blog? It’s his job. It’s what he does. We’re still both trying to figure out how to balance life and work, and we’re doing it the best we know how.
Amy teaches French and is an expert at drawing amazing pictures in Paint.
——————-
Ok, back over to Tristan now
Here’s a chart showing things that bloggers and their significant others can do so that both the blog and the relationship remain intact :)
Let me just finish up by saying that it’s really hard for me to balance things in my life. I’m either 100% into something and putting all of my effort into it, or not paying attention to it at all. When it’s summer, I consistently rock climb 6 days a week and sometimes forget to eat. When I’m working on a new blog, I often stay up till 4 in the morning. When I’m at Subway, I can never, ever get a six inch sandwich, even if I’m not all that hungry.
Go big or go home, right?
With this being the case, it’s always been a struggle for me to balance my passions with my relationships. And it’s still something that I suck at. So I need your help! I’d love to hear your input on this, and I’d really appreciate it if you left a comment!
- How have you been able to balance blog time (or really any kind of hobby time, I guess!) with relationship time?
- Have your relationships ever suffered because of your blogging?
- Do you have anything else to add?
Thanks for reading, and be sure to come back on Friday for an awesome post about best blog design practices for non-designers and non-techies!
{ 107 comments… read them below or add one }
This is one of the best article I have read in a long time now. WOW, simply amazing thoughts both from you and from your girl friend. As she have told, its very important for every blogger and her girlfriend to try and figure out a way which balance their work. Otherwise, you can’t have a healthy relationship. Believe me, because it has happened in my life and I found a way to overcome that. Anyway, we are happy now and everything is going good. Hope all the bloggers out there finds a way like I have did.
Thanks, Sathish! I’m really glad you liked it! It’s awesome to hear that you’ve struggled with this before and than you’ve figured out how to make it work.
Thanks for commenting!
Ha ha ha haha!
What a fabulous post, I loved it, was sitting here giggling away like some giddy school girl!
Really unique, never seen anything like it, loved the personal touch.
You should let her write again, well done Amy!
And thanks for letting her shine Tristan, Alex.
So glad you liked it, Alex! I feel like I have high standards for what I post on my blog, and I think Amy definitely met and exceeded them. She’s a great writer. I was really interested to see how this kind of post would be received, so I really appreciate your feedback!
Great post Tristan and Amy.
It’s difficult to juggle relationships with a full time job and still try and find the time to blog. My best blogging times come either when my family is all in bed, or if I get a spare hour during the day to write. I make sure I have a few hours with my kids every day and have a rule that if someone has to make a sacrifice, it’ll be me, not my family.
This means I’m spending less time on my online businesses than I’d like to, but I’m very happy that everything is in balance.
Allan
Thanks for your comment, Allan. It sounds like you’ve definitely got your priorities straight, which is awesome. My best writing also usually comes late at night. Maybe it’s something about being alone with our thoughts?
You make a great point about everything being in balance. As I sad at the end here, that is something that I struggle with, but I have found that I’m happiest when I do reach that point.
Thanks again!
Hmmm Tristan, This is not sounding good. As a very new venturer into the blogging world, I had no idea how many hours and how late professional bloggers worked on their blogging business.
How do you balance the compulsion to write just a few more paragraphs with the need to get some sleep before dawn? Maybe you just don’t.
Lucky for you that Amy is very flexible to your working life spilling over into your personal space.
I’m seeing danger signals in working without a plan, because it is so compulsive. There’s more love in CommLuv than there is in sitting night after night in one room typing, with a partner in the other room watching t.v.
The timetable in your post “Running a successful blog on 1-3 hours a day” is a good starting reference to get organised. So thanks for that.
Hard as it is to do it, leaving the laptop at the office some nights forces me to focus at home. And it gives the opportunity to read books. My book reading has dropped significantly since I started reading blogs. I miss them.
I miss reading books, too, Julia. There’s just a richness and depth in books that you don’t find in blogs.
How do I balance the need to write a few more paragraphs with the need to sleep? I don’t! I write until I’m done saying what I have to say, no matter how late it gets to be. And that usually ends up being 3 or 4 in the morning. But a lot of that is my fault. I’m not as productive during the day as I am at night, not sure why that is, though…
“There’s more love in CommLuv than there is in sitting night after night in one room typing, with a partner in the other room watching t.v.” Hahaha! That was awesome!
Thanks so much for commenting, Julia. I love comments like this that make me laugh and still add valuable content to my blog!
Julia,
My goodness, you’ve just set a new standard in blog commenting. Your comment is witty, funny, creative and full of personality.
Tristan,
People surrounding me have simply no idea what doing a business online mean, I just need to tell them to read this post to get the idea.
Ben Wan
Hey Ben,
Thanks for the compliment. Can you tweet that all over the world please?
I agree – most of us have no idea what a bloggers life can be – all these crisp and humorous articles give the impression of wit and wisdom just rolling instantly from the keyboard.
What I read here sounds more like dedication, focus and sacrifice.
Were the get-rich-quick seminars misleading?
I can see I have a few years’ apprenticeship to serve.
Julia
Hi Tristan and Amy,
This is question that all bloggers must ask if they decide to go into full time. I need to tell you i got a warning last week. This is what my wife says ” I give you one year and you need to stop blogging then, you are blogging too much”. I believe it depends on which is of more importance. Is it the relationship or your blogging career? We need to find ways to balance but what if we can’t. What i do is give a explanation of what i am doing and what i hope to achieve. To assure her she is still the number one in my heart and my actions need to show her that. The understanding of the other half is extremely important and we need that.
This is the reason why it is good to take a break sometimes. It’s difficult as blogging can easily make one addicted. I believe what the other half needs is some attention and precious time. From time to time, we just have to take a break.
Thanks for sharing this mind pondering post.
Lye
Uh oh, an ultimatum, huh? Yikes!
I think you hit on something really important, Lye. I like how you said, “To assure her she is still the number one in my heart and my actions need to show her that.” GREAT point. You can love your wife all you want but if you don’t show her that, your relationship will be negatively affected.
Thanks, Lye!
Hi Tristan and Amy
You are one very supportive girlfriend Amy and one special person by the sound of it. I’m sure Tristan appreciates you. Great post you wrote here so Tristan did well with his first ‘unofficial’ guest blogger post :-)
Amy my suggestion is you get him to occasionally go smell the lavenders, help him to relax long enough to either get some more sleep or just chill.
Patricia Perth Australia
[^^ Amy, I hope you read that :) ]
Thanks, Patricia! And yes, Amy did a great job here. She’s a great writer, so I wasn’t too worried about having her write for my blog.
“Go smell the lavenders.” Nicely done ;)
I have not read such an original article in a long time – people always write about the same things over and over and over.
I’m glad that I’m at the least 3 hours away from your working to 4:30 so i do manage to get some sleep; just hope it won’t get worse though :S
And balancing time is impossible to do as well; i simply do everything at once now. Music playing in background, movie on one screen, and blogging on the other. Not enough time in the day to do anything one by one :(
It’s true, Peter, there really isn’t enough time to do everything, even when staying up till 4:30. I guess that just goes to show that we really need to prioritize, eh?
I’m glad you liked this post. I was really interested to see how well it would be received; it’s something different, and something different usually either flops or does really well. Thankfully, it looks like this is doing the latter!
Thanks, Peter!
I like your humor, Amy. “Fiery sleep-deprived wrath”. Funny stuff!
I’m like you, Tristan, 100% into something and unable to focus on anything else when I am. I have learned that it’s not a good thing and will get me into trouble with my spouse before too long.
But I’ve discovered something with a challenge I’ve set for myself recently and that is if I just settle down and get the work done right away in the early part of the day, I can actually feel satisified and leave the computer alone during the evening family time.
So my advice is to nurture blog on your own time and don’t let it cut into “us” time.
Peggy
Thanks for sharing your experiences, Peggy. I think your advice to get everything done early in the day is great. I have no problems with waking up early (even when I go to bed late), but for some reason I’ve always just been more productive later in the day and at night. Maybe something I should try is waking up and the first thing I do is write a blog post… Hmmm… I’ll give that a try and let you know how it goes.
And I think your final advice is really the key to this whole thing. There is blog time and there is “us” time, and they should never mix.
Thanks Peggy!
Yes, if you give it a try in the morning I’d love to hear your results!
Peggy
Hey Tristan, Hey Amy … so nice to meet you!
You have both included a lot of very significant content into this post and I think this is probably one of the best I’ve seen on Blogging Bookshelf. Tristan, I hope you don’t think this takes away from all the precious and awesome advice you’ve given us in these last couple of months, but this post is definitely the most human. On both parts, yours and hers. I always look for this kind of content in the blogs I visit, and it’s unfortunate so say that not many bloggers see it as important.
I think this is the stuff good blogging is made of! We get to meet you (and in this case Amy as well!!) as a normal, functioning human being, and this allows us to believe (even more) that what you write about is all true … it CAN happen and your blog CAN be successful.
My blog has gotten in the way of one extremely important relationship … more times than I’d like o mention. Until one day I realized that even though I truly love blogging, this is not my full-time job and I have other “human” priorities. I changed my blogging schedule and never allowed it to interfere again. This way I can be happy in knowing that I’m looking after both the blog and the relationship.
This is why I think that by far the best line in Amy’s post is “I wouldn’t try and lure my boyfriend away from his 9-5 bank job, so why would I try and do it with Tristan and Blog?”. Tristan, this IS your job, so it makes sense that you dedicate yourself to it 100%.
Jobs and passions have always gotten in the way of meaningful relationships, but it can be worked out … your infographic exemplifies it pretty neatly :)
Great post guys!
p.s. sorry for the extra long comment … I got carried away
Carolina, your comment definitely brought a smile to my face.
I was a little bit hesitant to publish this post only because while I knew there was value here, I didn’t know if people would be able to see it for what it was, or just think, “Where’s the tip here??” I’m glad you “Got it”!
I think that for those people who need to see it, this will always be one of the more truly valuable posts on the blog.
Speaking in a more broad term, I think more people should hark back to the original purpose of a blog as a journal. Don’t get me wrong, I love blogs like Copyblogger and Problogger that just have awesome, purely scientific content. But why not write great, extremely valuable (useful) content and at the same time keep it at a more personal level that people can relate to and actually connect with? Not only does this make for more interesting reading, but I think that it is the best way to differentiate your blog (in a good way) from all of the others in your niche. Because very few bloggers are adding that personal touch.
Whew. I guess a long comment leads to another long comment! I appreciate that you shared your own personal experience with this, too. It’s good to know I’m not alone when it comes to this.
Thanks so much for adding a truly valuable and unique comment, Carolina!
Hi Tristan and Amy.
Amy, you can make a better blog than Tristan! ;) Your first line got me laughing and reading your part was fun!
Really, no one can expect this as first line:
Tristan, you are luck that you have got such a supportive girlfriends who lets you spend time with a blog. My room mate spends more time on phone with girl friend than anything else! And he also stays up will 4 and sometimes 6 in the morning(not blogging, talking to his girlfriend!).
[Hahaha. Amy, I hope you read that comment!]
Yes, I’m fortunate to have a girlfriend who understands what I’m trying to do here. I used to have a roommate like yours… It annoyed the crap out of me :D
Thanks for the comment, Ishan!
Good Morning Amy (and Tristan)
It was a pleasure to read your post. it was both very well written and also quite original. I do not know if I have ever seen a guest post from a girlfriend before. Wonderful.
It is like peeling back the curtain to see the great Oz, maneuvering the wheels. Thanks for a great post.
Great, I’m glad you liked it, Steve! Thanks as always for the comment, buddy.
“It is like peeling back the curtain to see the great Oz, maneuvering the wheels.” Best. Line. Ever.
This article is brilliant. A nice break from the more technical aspects of writing and maintaining a blog, yet still very valuable. I think that Amy really hit the nail on the head with the part about how this is your job, and she wouldn’t pull you away from some other job. The only difference I see is that this one seems to be taking a little more time than a 9-5 job. You are still in startup mode and that’s going to take some pushing to really get things rolling.
Thanks Mitchell. I’m glad you recognized the brilliance in this post. But then again, you’re a smart guy, so I wouldn’t have expected anything else.
And yeah, I usually am working more than 8 hours a day here. Hopefully that won’t always be the case, but I am enjoying it and willing to put in the extra hours for as long as it takes.
I would never allow my wife to write a guest post on my blog. She would not be as nice as your girlfriend :)
Brilliant post, and a very creative one as well. I have never read a post like this before. I hope she’ll continue and update us on the progress of your relationship ;-)
What I’ve learned is that it’s important to say what you are doing, not the details about the blog posts or the articles you’re writing (depends on your girlfriend, some are probably very interested, others are not), but that you for instance tell her that you need two hours alone to work on your blog (and that you don’t want to be disturbed). And that you can be together with her for an hour after that (tell her how much time you can be together).
When it comes to time, my problem is that I also have two kids, and that leaves me with close to no time for blogging or writing in general. Sometimes I wonder if I should go to the bathroom and bring my laptop with me, and that’s the only way I can keep up with my writing.
But it’s like I said, the only thing that works well for me is to tell her how much time I need, when I need it, and keep the details away from her.
The best part of blogging when you’re in a relationship is that it makes us happy, and a happy man is exactly what a woman is looking for.
Thanks for the kind words, Jens! Amy definitely could have been meaner with this post, but I think she knew her chances of it getting published were higher by limiting the bad stuff she said about me :)
I love how you said that you feel like sometimes you need to take your laptop into the bathroom with you! That’s awesome!
I don’t have kids or many other obligations, so I can only imagine how all of that cuts into the time you’re able to spend on your blog.
Your last line is my favorite: “The best part of blogging when you’re in a relationship is that it makes us happy, and a happy man is exactly what a woman is looking for.” [Amy, I hope you read that!]
Thanks as always for a great comment, Jens!
Hi Amy and Tristan,
Awesome post. Amy is really an awesome writer. I love her writing style.
You guys are doing awesome work ;).
Thanks for sharing. Retweeted.
Thanks for the comment and RT, Devesh! Amy really is a great writer, so I wasn’t too concerned about asking her to write a post for me,.
Thanks again! It’s always a pleasure to see you comment here.
Well, I don’t know I would really say I manage my time right between my internet stuff and my hubby. He is really supportive but I do know that sometimes he gets annoyed with me spending so much time online.
This is a great post and so unique, great job, Amy and Tristan.
I’m glad you liked the post, Brankica. Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a comment!
I’m way past the age of boyfriends… but having your loved ones support is important.
I’m fortunate to have a family that is rooting for my success as an online marketer.
However… I miss them. I used to see much more of my kids and grands than I do now because they are trying to be supportive. However, Virtual relationships are never more important than those who love you and are standing by. I have to remember that now and again because if I don’t… I’m the one who loses.
Amy… This is a fun post… and what a good sport you are!
I really liked this, Kathryn: “Virtual relationships are never more important than those who love you and are standing by.” That’s so true and so important!
As always, Kathryn, I really appreciated your comment. Thanks so much for stopping by.
Hi Tristan,
Wonderful idea here, and a fine article by Amy.
As I write my girlfriend sits 10 feet away from me, typing away. She writes articles for a living so she has an idea of what it takes to be tied to a computer all day sometimes.
That being said it’s important for your significant other to share your vision. When someone has much drive as you do there will be a certain level of sacrifice involved because you won’t have the time to do things that “normal” couples do. But if couples can see the Big Picture, most issues become trivial.
Good thing my girlfriend Kelli and I don’t want to live a “normal” life :) We have a passion for what we do and know the time we put in now affords us freedom that will only continue to expand as we perfect our respective crafts. So she tolerates things like me working 38 hours in a row knowing that it’s paying off now and will pay off even more down the road ;)
Thanks for sharing Tristan. Have a powerful day!
RB
Ryan, that was an awesome comment! Thanks!
I really like and appreciate that you shared your own personal experiences. I especially like this: “That being said it’s important for your significant other to share your vision.” That’s a really great point, and something that I wish I had thought of as I was adding my remarks at the end of this post!
I also liked this: “But if couples can see the Big Picture, most issues become trivial.” Another awesome point.
Ryan, thanks for not only leaving a great comment, but for truly adding value to this post!
I had really no idea the kind of (potential) strains maintaining a full time blog could bring. This is a very different type of post and I suspect we might start seeing more of these around the blogosphere.
It looks like you guys communicate and are able to work together and be supportive and I think that’s awesome.
I can’t say I have too much experience with this sort of thing (kind of a loner) but this is a very interesting subject that I’m going to forward on some friends of mine who could definitely relate.
Sometimes you just don’t know where those blog post ideas are going to come from do you?
Anyway keep putting in the work, you’re really building something cool here that I learn a lot from. Peace!
John, it really is funny how some of these blog post ideas come up! Sometimes I’ll be eating at a restaurant or at the store and something I see or hear triggers something else and I have to borrow a pen from someone so that I can write the idea on the back of my hand.
I really appreciate that you liked the post enough to forward it to your friends. You’re a stud (and I think I’m going to mention you in my next post, by the way).
Thanks for the super kind words about the blog, too. I really appreciate that you read it and take the time to comment and share.
Hello Tristan
The conversation really made me laugh, it is so funny when you said you was sick on blogging and convince her write an article for you. Before i started earning money online, i got many troubles on my relationship because i spent to much time on the internet. My girlfriend ( Now is my wife ) always complained me ” why do you always hold the computer ? You can not earn any cents from it.” . I was not upset because I knew her feeling that she just wanted me to be with her. However, at the moment i dont need to spend a lot of time on the internet because everything was done and money just come to my account every every month. That i got from one year working hard and received many complains from everybody ( family, friend… ).
Thanks for your post , Dude
Thanks for sharing your story, Ryan! Yes, I too have gotten my fair share of complaints from friends and family… But I think they also understand that this is something I love doing and that I have to work really hard now in order to be where I want to be in the future.
I’m glad you liked the article, and thanks a ton for stopping by and leaving a comment!
I love this article! It’s awesome!
It’s actually the first time I read something relating girlfriends and blogs. And I have to admit I’ve suffered this, I mean I would literally be hours on the computer while she was watching TV or doing something else but it worked really well.
I think the key to this is your partner actually accepting the fact you blog and it consumes a lot of time. Sometimes I would even have to blog only at night time because I would spend all day with her and only have time at night.
I think the best way to approach this is talking the way out. But you have to make sure you are not replacing a person for a blog. Well, that’s what I think at least. What about you Tristan?
Thanks for the kind words, Fernando! I’m right there with you, buddy. We’ve definitely done the spend-the-day-together, blog-at-night thing a few times.
And I think you’re spot on by saying that you need to be careful about replacing a person with a blog! Blogs are great… But people are obviously a priority!
Thanks for commenting!
As a fan of both your blog and Amy’s blog, I have to say I was very excited to see she was a guest blogger! This was a fantastic post and I am glad to know that your relationship is surviving amid your busy lives!
Thanks, Marci! You should come over to the house more often. Sad that you won’t be here for the karaoke party!
Hey Tristan,
This is something I can really relate to. My wife is not a big fan of the amount of time I spend working & blogging. I usually take a day or two off each week, though I still work 10 or so hours each of those days (just not on IM).
Additionally, I find it a good practice have dinner together any night that I can (i.e., not on the road).
I would not say that our relationship has really suffered, but it does cause you to focus more on the time you do have together. No question about – anyone trying to get ahead or do something better always struggles with this. We can only go so long without sleep, after all.
I love this idea for a post, and would probably do the same thing, but I have a feeling my wife would only use it as an opportunity to make fun of me…
Have a good day :)
Thanks, Mark! It’s great to hear that I’m not the only one struggling with this!
Having dinner together is a great idea. It’s not like you can just whip out the laptop at the restaurant, right?
I thoroughly enjoyed your comment, and appreciate that you took the time to write it! You have a good day, too :)
And sorry, I don’t know why I called you Richard!
Ha! Who cares – it was funny ;)
Tristan. yet another intriguing blog.
Shout to amy. painting in paint is hard. so props to you.
one thing i love about my bloghost (blogger) is the time release of posts. That has saved me during my time of addiction to blogs. It’s great.
Also. my addiction is more now…the addiction of reading blogs. That can be quite detrimental in time (and therefore time with other people). Having things like google reader help. Usually i blog because i’m curious or i want to know more about someone else’s life or post a comment to win something.
Other times i’m checking who checked my blog, how can i get more readers.. etc. etc.
i think sometimes we live for our readers. so many people out there do.
the thing is. you live for you and the blog is only a small portion of how spectacular your life is and people read it because they are jealous (ok. maybe not). anyways.
it all comes down to the purpose of your blog:
1. to share info
2. to show off.
3. neither, something else.
that’s my opinion. well. parts of it.
Hey Angela! How’s Seattle??
Yeah, reading other blogs is terribly time consuming and addicting and wonderful, all at the same time.
Oh, and you can schedule future posts in WordPress, too :)
Thanks for the great comment, Angela, and I hope to see you ’round these parts more often!
Hey there Amy. Nice to meet you. I’m typing this on my laptop and my wife is sitting next to me on the iPod reading your post. The kids are in bed. I just got home and wife is waiting for me to rub her feet before I turn my attention to the glow of the computer screen. [Side comment: rub a woman's feet and it's amazing how much computer time she will tolerate]. Wife laughed out loud twice while reading the post. I love her laugh. Thank you.
Back massages are great as well. And letting her know that you love her laugh. :)
[Side comment: Tristan, if you touch my feet, I will most likely kick you in the face.]
Hi Trevor & co., pleased to make your acquaintance! Glad you enjoyed the post. :)
Hahaha. Awesome comment, Trevor, and I’m glad you guys liked the post!
Great insights, Amy and Tristan, on a subject many people can relate to. Thanks for sharing that.
I started blogging about 4 months ago, mainly to support my primary business as a financial consultant (and for a variety of other reasons). Since the boyfriend is somewhat of an internet addict and a gaming enthusiast, it has definitely helped our relationship,. We are currently watching an episode of Moonlighting (great show), typing away on our computers, drinking tea and sharing observations. We usually have dinner together and go to bed at the same time (late). It’s great when both people have a hobby/passion as it adds a whole new dimension to the relationship.
Sounds like you guys have a great setup and system, Ronika!
So if I understand you correctly, you’re saying… that I need to get Amy more addicted to blogging :)
Thanks for taking the time to comment, Ronika!
Tristan & Amy! Awesome!
Haha, you two are great – reminds myself of the relationship I have with my GF – I’d be like: hey babes, I gotta get some writing done for the blog and freelance writing, going into solo mode for a few hours – okaaaaaay.
We’re totally on point though; she understands that it’s such a huge hobby of mine and incorporates my business goals so it all works out – plus, the additional income pays for the trips that we take (like when we went to New Orleans recently).
You two keep at it because it sounds like you guys are on point with one another as well – just don’t lose sight of the bigger picture which is spending time together.
“Going into solo mode for a few hours – okaaaaaay.” Hahaha. That was awesome.
Thanks for the tips, Murray! And thanks as always for commenting. You’re a stud.
Tristan/Amy:
This is by far my favorite article of the day! What a dynamic duo. I know the sacrifices as time seems to slip by me like a fire hose let loose full of water! I have learned to step away and make time for those important in my life….after all, I do this to build my business, but for my family as well. Thank you so much for posting this!
Sweet! I’m glad you liked the article so much, Lisa!
Thanks for taking the time to comment. I really do appreciate it.
Tristan,
It is real difficult to juggle relationships, a new born baby along with the full time job and still try to find time to work on the blog. Add 7 days of work to that as an icing to the cake!! haha..
Just recently, I started waking up an hour early so that I can use some of that time working with things related to my blog. And I really am amazed by how much difference that hour makes..
So you lived in Plano huh.. Thats badass!
Later man..
Wow. Adam, I can’t imagine balancing relationships, a new baby, a full time job, AND a blog! Major props to you, man.
I’ve never woken up an hour early for blogging, but I used to wake up an hour early for language study purposes. And it really is amazing how much you can get done in that extra hour!
Thanks as always for the comment, Adam. I really appreciate it!
Another heart pouring post.
Work and Life balance has been a hot topic in our increasingly fast paced world. Very crucial part of our existence as bloggers. Because most bloggers are mostly working from homes, their significant others tend to suffer the impact more than the regular 9-5 workers.
Here’s how I have been coping. Luckily for me, my girlfriend leaves quite far from where I stay, so we do much of our talking on the phone, which makes it easier for me, because we have our together time physically once a week. But we get to talk almost 5-7 times everyday. So this allows me to work, but then i am careful to always pick her calls every time she calls and pause whatever it is i am doing. I have learnt that no matter what, people still always must come first. I know my blog is not running away and understand that as long as the internet exists, no blog post of mine or others would suddenly disappear. Meaning, I can always get back to whatever it is I must have missed, why because it’s online.
For example, If I didn’t come to your blog today, I could visit tomorrow or next and still share my comments on this issue even though it isn’t the current post on your blog at the time I visit. As a principle, I don’t just visit and read the current post on people’s blogs, I go through the most recent ones and read post that really interests me. For me, I see blogs as huge resources, so your post could be far away and I would dig it up just because I am looking for something interesting.
So this consciousness of never missing out on a thing, helps me to put myself in check, Especially with her. [You know how women are]. So Tristan, talk about your blog with her it’s good sharing our work with our significant other. But then, don’t ever get to the point whereby you can’t let go of your blog for her. When you are with her, be with her and forget about your blog, trust me, it won’t run away! Learn to compartmentalize your life. Focus on her when she’s around or when you are chatting and focus on your blog when she is gone. There’s always time to catch up online!
Good advice, Tito.
Wow, thanks for the mega awesome comment, Tito. And I think that Amy liked it, too, since her reply (even though it’s a few words long) is only one of two she made to a comment… and the other was to my brother!
I like how you said that a blog will always be there. That’s a great point. Even if I have to stay up an hour or two later, the blog really will always be there. And I also like what you said about compartmentalizing. That’s something I’m going to have to work on.
Thanks again for the really helpful comment that added some great content to my blog!
Oh, and I think it’s kind of funny that you said “Luckily for me, my girlfriend leaves quite far from where I stay.” I wonder if she’s appreciate you saying that :)
“Luckily for me, my girlfriend leaves quite far from where I stay.” I wonder if she’s appreciate you saying that :)
Actually Tristan, she called me as I had just finished typing that comment and I told her about the topic under discussion. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind, because really, I think i would still have given her more attention than I currently do with her over the phone if we lived closer to one another. I meant luckily, because somehow, the distance is somewhat like a plus as it increases our value of each other.
I’m glad Amy found the comment useful and more glad you were able to pick out some useable ideas. Wishing you both all the best in your quest to balance work and love!
Tristan and Amy,
Hmmmm…I do I remember a post by Tristan “Your Blog Is Your Baby”. Good thing you guys agree on this point.
It is so great to hear from the blog partners point of view. At our house, have gotten so use to the routine I often forgotten to include my sweetie in my virtual world. He is pretty patient. He can expect to see me sitting at the computer at all hours of the day and night. He is often patiently waiting while I make that last tweet or comment on another blog.
We do have rules: Like Mark, we have dinner together. When he comes to talk to me I stop what I am doing and have a conversation with him. When he is away I pretend to be a farmer and take care of he farm. And when we go in vacation or get away for a few hours, there is no computer and no cell phones.
Sheila, my “Your Blog Is Your Baby” post is the first thing I thought of when I read this post, too!
I like your idea of no computer or cell phone when you go away. That’s a great one!
Your comments are always much appreciated, Sheila, and this one was no different. Thanks!
I have to agree with a lot of the comments above- this was one refreshing read to find published, and I had plenty of smiles because this is how my girlfriend and I act. I don’t spend nearly enough time writing on my blog, but she does understand that I’m more introverted than she is and reading/writing is one of my ways of refreshing myself. She also doesn’t understand how I can stay up until 3am, climb into bed, and then bounce of bed in a flash when our daughter wakes up at 6:30am.
But this appreciation and respect for each other’s hobbies go the other way, too. She can spend 3-4 hours a day for a week planning out a cake design, baking the cakes, and decorate them, and I’ll just stand back and let her do it – while poking fun at the mess she’s making of our kitchen, of course. Having that respect for each other is huge in any relationship, but I think it is even more meaningful when your passions/hobbies diverge (whether it’s the movies or tv shows you like watching or writing or cake decorating). As soon as you try to stop your partner from doing something they enjoy doing, it makes life miserable for both parties. It’s a bit different when it comes to bad habits. There will always be compromise there to some degree, but passions should never be compromised completely. Limited, yes, if there are other things happening that include you both, but never ridiculed to the point where you don’t want to do anything anymore.
Another long comment. Apologies!
James, you know I appreciate a good, long comment!
Thanks for the great tips. So if I’m hearing you right… I need to get Amy into cake baking and then poke fun at her when she messes up the kitchen? Kidding, kidding…
“As soon as you try to stop your partner from doing something they enjoy doing, it makes life miserable for both parties.” I hear you on that. I’ve got a few friends who in the past have live and breathe rock climbing. Then they get married and their wives prevent them from doing it, and they’re miserable. There’s got to be a balance there.
Thanks again for the great comment, James. Also, I see in your CommentLuv link that you’re reading the 4 Hour Body. I pre-ordered mine on Amazon and should get here any day now… I’m pretty stoked!
Hi Tristan and Amy,
What a great blog post. My wife has become a Farmville addict thanks to my obsessive blogging, (I niche blog as well as my main blog). Her argument was that if I spend all of my time at my computer then so should she. I guess I can’t argue with that.
By the sounds of it every blogger needs a Amy.
Pete
“By the sounds of it every blogger needs a Amy.” Oh man. She’s not going to let me forget that one…
That’s really funny that your wife is addicted to Farmville! But her argument makes sense!
Thanks for taking the time to comment, Pete!
Oh yeah. I definitely plan on keeping that one in my arsenal.
I think you need to take up Farmville Amy. That is the obvious solution here.
I’d say you should count Amy as one of your blessings. She can and does allow you to work when you want and spend time with you when it is available. That’s a rare quality, Tristan; treasure her!
Some people are morning people some are night people. You say you are more productive at night. I’m the opposite. My brain goes to bed between 10:00 pm an 11:00 pm with or without my body. However, I often get up early, compelled to write. I do my best work in the wee hours of the morning. for me, that woud be between 3:00 and 5:00; for some folks anything before 10:00 AM is “wee hours”.
If you don’t mind a little sagely advice from someone with over a half-century of experience in life and love; if Amy is important to you (and I assume she is) don’t get into a habit of considering her as “on call“. It’s wonderful that she understands how important Blog is to you and that this is your future. But don’t count on that remaining the status quo forever. I must tread lightly here as your personal relationship is your business and we know next to nothing about the dynamics of that relationship. What I’m trying to get at is that any woman who is willing to give you the flexibility you have, to take a roll secondary to Blog — AND not simply be after your vast fortune (grin) — is a rare thing indeed. If Amy is such a lady; treasure her Tristan, treasure her!
(My next series of articles on my blog will be about simplifying life through proper relationships so I’m in ‘Ann Landers’ mode. I apologize to both of you if I’ve stepped over any lines of propriety.)
I’m starting to think that me letting her post here was a bad idea. She’s going to use all the leverage from people’s comments and if we ever get into an argument, she’ll say something like, “Fine! There are a million other bloggers who would LOVE to have me as their girlfriend!” and then storm out of the room to go comment on some blogs.
It takes me a few hours in the mornings for me to fully get into blogging mode…
Anyway, that was a fantastic comment, Allan! I got an email from Amy this morning saying, “dude. your blog people love me. i just read some of the newest comments that you haven’t replied to.” Hahaha.
You’re right. She’s great. Although the jury is still out on whether or not she just likes me for my money :D
Thanks for the kind words and advice, Allan. They’re much appreciated by both of us!
Okay, here’s my 2 cents worth of advice for you Tristan – hang on to Amy….she’s worth a million bucks! She sounds like a very intelligent, patient and caring person…
I think you guys are doing well and you obviously share a sense of humour about ‘blog’, which always helps. I also hope that including her and her perspective here on your blog helps her to feel a part of it all. I think that was a great idea on your part and very couragous of Amy!
Best Wishes to you both (and your son, Blog!)
Mon
Amy actually had a dream the night before I posted it that I DIDN’T post it because I didn’t think it was good enough. She was pretty nervous. So thanks a ton to you and the other commenters who have given such positive reviews!
Thanks for the comment and kind words, Monica!
Yet time is the one thing you can never reclaim, reuse, or do over; yet we all(and I certainly add myself) blithely go about our life as if we can, could or expect to somehow obtain more time. You only have now and the present, use it wisely.
Wise words, Robert. Thanks so much for commenting!
OK, so it’s official, Amy is like the coolest freaking blogger’s girlfriend in the world.
This was so awesome and refreshing, what a GREAT read and idea it was!! :-)
Amy, I know you’ve been already told this, but your writing style is stellar. You’re very, very good….and maybe it’s time you started your own ‘Girlfriend of an Addicted Blogger’ blog….It would be a hit. I’m sure many girlfriends and wives could use a coping circle. ;-)
Hahaha. I’m glad you liked the post, Marcus! Amy did indeed to a great job, and she definitely should start her own blog. We’ll have to discuss that…
Thanks for leaving such a positive comment! Have a good one :)
my gf loves me blogging, she gets to leave farmville for 5 minutes to read my posts and she comes along on the trips and has fun there!
“She gets to leave farmville for 5 minutes”… Nice, Greg! Unfortunately, I don’t go anywhere cool for my blog…
Thanks for commenting! I always appreciate it.
Great post Tristan. Amy seems pretty cool and very understanding. At first my wife didn’t really get the blogging thing and she wasn ‘t too happy about it because it takes a lot of time away from her.
Sometimes she would even go as far to say she wishes my computer would just blow up, and then I respond by telling her I would just get another one. Have to give her credit, she has gotten much better with dealing with he fact that I spend a good amount of time on my PC.
However, I have also learned how to split my time between her and my blogging activities. A great strategy I have learned to keep the peace between blogging and my wife is to do most of my blogging while she is sleeping.
So I often find myself up anywhere between 1 and 8 in the morning, and when she wakes up I have more time to spend with her. Great article by the way, and maybe you should let your girl guest post again. She was great.
“Sometimes she would even go as far to say she wishes my computer would just blow up.” Hahaha, YIKES!
I think you’re on to something with blogging while your wife is sleeping. I think that’s great!
I’m glad you liked the post, and I’m sure Amy appreciates your kind words, as I do.
Thanks for commenting!
What I can say is that you have great girlfriend Tristan who support your blogging life fully. Thanks for this inspiring and entertaining blog post.
Yeah, she really is great. I’m glad you liked the post, and thanks so much for stopping by, Dana!
Hi Tristan and Amy .. glad you’ve got it worked out .. it’s good to meet you Amy – once day perhaps can we see some ‘paint’ examples .. can you add in a pic to each of Tristan’s posts .. well perhaps no – you’d go nutty doing that = too many?!!?? One or two of his weekly posts? They’d be good to see ..
Cheers – enjoy the build up to Christmas with family and friends .. more time out .. Mr H?!
Hilary
Hilary, Hmmm…. Maybe I could get Amy to draw some pictures for the blog… That’d be interesting!
And you’ll be happy to know that I’ve been taking it easy the past couple days, Hilary! I just spent about an hour on the blog yesterday and a few hours the day before that. So I’m getting better! But I tomorrow will be a much longer day again…
Thanks for commenting, Hilary!
Great and useful!:)
First of all Amy is really supporting person, it is always great to find person who understand you and is able to support you although she might not see the point of your activity completely:)
I think as in every aspect of relationship the proper communication is crucial, you have to talk what are you up to, what you want to achieve by doing your activities (blogging in this case). So your girl will see that there is a point and you are not just playing but doing a serious job.
As I said nice reading I enjoyed especially the A & T conversation:)
I think you’re right, Adam. Proper communication really is critical. That’s probably the single most important thing.
I’m glad you liked the post and the A & T conversation :) Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment!
Amy makes a good point about not interfering between you and your job (blog). That makes sense! It’s your job so you gotta do it no matter what.
I suck at balancing blog/work and relationships, so yeah I need to improve that as well.
My sweetheart is running her own consulting business and she understood that blogging is a good way to get more clients and more exposure – so she’s also into blogging now :-). We’re both independent personalities so chasing our own dreams is a natural state to be in and we support and encourage each other a lot.
So my suggestion is to transform your loved one into a serious blogger, just as you are. Then you’ll have so much more to talk about :-). It works for me.
Constantin, I’m glad I’m not the only one who sucks at these things :D
I rally like you’re idea of turning Amy into a serious blogger. Hmmm… I’ll definitely have to try that! Thanks for the input and comment!
This is totally awesome and touching. I am glad that your girlfriend understand your situation. My wife sometimes get mad at me too because I can’t attend on some family gathering because of my all-day-all-night-blog time. But we get all things right by talking about it. Bloggers must really learn proper time management to be able to cope up to things outside the blogging world. Anyway Goodluck Tristan and Amy! You can get along well with each other just always understand!
I’m glad you liked this post, Lee. Thanks so much for the advice and the comment!
Exceedingly creative topic and post!
Amy and Tristan, I don’t have a significant other. But if the day ever rolls around when I do, I’ll be sure to come back and re-read this post. Lots of great relationship conversation and advice here.
Count your lucky stars and your blessings — you’ve got each other to love! If you work on always putting your relationship first, “Blog” will benefit and grow into a well-adjusted, healthier, happier blog. :)
Thanks, Melanie! I’m glad you liked the post!
And thanks for the advice :) I hope you’ve had a great Christmas, and I hope your New Years is awesome!
Wishing both of you a very happy new year…
Hey Tristan,
This is actually a very interesting and unique article – one of the most unique blog posts about blogging (but not quite) I’ve seen in a long time. I also love Amy’s sense of humor – she got me laughing a few times. You should definitely ask her to write another post for us! The new voice is refreshing. :)
And wow – that’s amazing that she can support you through it all – and just be so understanding! My boyfriend and I had many fights over my blog in the beginning, until we started sleeping at different times; I would work while he’s sleeping and vice versa. That seems to work out for us, since we’re not taking up a whole bucket load of each other’s time. :)
Really good read! By the way, I’d love to read her blog as well. From what I can see, it’s not linked anywhere! =/
Christina
Tristan, I’ve been on your blog these past few days and seeing your posts really inspires and keeps on interest me. And I think your girlfriend have the capability of a blogger too! Anyway, being a blogger’s girlfriend or wife is a little bit hard, right Amy? But you can get it through, be strong.
This is awesome. Hysterical at times. “How’s blog?” It became an entity. Too funny. I found this site from comments you left on others and I hope you continue to mix it up a bit with the gf posts. Thanks!
I’ll add this site to my bookmark and tell my friends about this blog.
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If you’re a full time blogger, I assume, you spend countless hours blogging. It’s not just a 9-5 type of deal, but rather whenever the occasion arrises type of deal. With that said, bloggers should always make time for their SOs and other activities. I’m not a huge blogger but I understand how it can be really fun if you actually get to blog about things you’re passionate about. Good to know that you and your SO can take care of your priorities and be happy about what you’re doing. :D
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